On your 63(rd)...Motherland

Its your sixty three(sic), since the day we were free,
free of being ruled by another,
free of being a martyr in someone else's war,
free to call this land ours, you-ours..

Its your sixty three, since the day we were free,
free to call us one nation,
free to have an anthem to stand up to,
free to have a leader look up to...

But it pains me today, on your sixty three,
to see the the strong bonds of one nation weaken,
to see the belief of oneness shaken,
to see men,women and children of yours being killed by your own..

It pains me to see on your sixty three,
the leaders are no more worth looking up to,
the national anthem I just stand to at a cinema theatre and enjoy the rest that follows..

It pains me that on your sixty three,
children are taught in schools that vanish into thin air,
where their mid-day meals are eaten by vanishing devils,
and their clothes are sold to men of no conscience

It pains me that on your sixty three,
its tough finding an honest man in the higher rungs,
a contented farmer in the villages far flung,
a happy student in an educational set up just fit to learn,
a person who would feel without bribing one or another, work will be done.

It pains me that on your sixty three,
there are people still in the shackles of cast and creed
who kill their own blood in name of honour,
murder their own child,a loving son and a daughter.

You may call me a pessimist my motherland,
that on your sixty three,
I talk curt and talk of all negativity..
But, I cannot close my eyes to the glaring truth that stands so strong,
send an 'sms' saying happy independence day and forget about it all

You may call me a humbug,
one unable to share the joy of our people on your sixty three,
but freedom for me is when each one of your children is thankful to thee,
when each of them have no complaints and no revenges to take,from thee.

That would be truly the Independence Day for me.

And they were such kids..falling for it

And they were such kids, falling for it,
falling in the sweet trap of the sweeter trip,
They not at all could, wipe off the silly smiles,
they had no idea what was wrong with their heart,their face and their sleepless nights..

And they were acting so grown up..yet so juvenile,
saying it, believing it... 'in love' , in a while
Not knowing what lay ahead, not bothering to be scared,
fearless and carefree, they tread their pathways..

And they thought they knew it all,
little did they wonder what happens after the big fall..
tiffs that turn into fights,
and the missed and hung up calls..

And they learnt with every step and hurdle,
what a pool of love it was with the small and big puddles..
they learnt from their mistakes and learnt from every tear that rolled,
the fear of being alone without the other, the love of not letting go..

And they thought, what people said mattered,
and sat down for love introspection,
Little did they know it was their belief that mattered,
nobody's justification..

Weeks and Months and Years went by,
their love was tested by time..
And all they did was look back and smile..
at the kids, the juveniles and the memorabilia for life..

Do girls agree to this? and Do guys secretly admit to feeling the same??

So what's new on your mind girl?
So what's happening all around you?
Tell me about it all..as your drink you sip..
Its time for GOSSIP!

'So and So' is up to this,
'so and so' is friendless,
That couple broke up and 'he' cheated on her..
Aww how life just flips!
Its time for GOSSIP!

My observation is true..the faces just glow,
with every piece of it, and its every drip..
Yup! its GOSSIP!!

You're unrelated, your life is not concerned with the news..
yet wonder why on hearing of something unheard..your tummy growls and u drool!!
Of course..its a GOSSIP ,not knowing it as if makes you a fool!!

Tel-a-woman is the mode, Gossip is the matter,
Information of who is the prude and who just turned fatter..
the constant entertainer, the feeling of know-it-all,
None other that GOSSIP afterall!! :P

The mortal soul be-fooled..

Our own mortal soul, be-fooled..
by our own thoughts and aspirations, shrouded in gloom..
Perfection so unattainable with the battle
of whether the mind or the heart is to rule..

A quiet soul often presumed to be taciturn,-
an amiable one being loquacious..
No matter how good you may be or pretend to be so,
what unfurls is all-the good, bad, ugly and worse

With the gift of the gab comes the loud mouth,
with pride comes the ego,
With patience comes laziness,
None of the vices the virtue can forego..

Acceptance of this human life's playful pert,
is what we can do first,
If life were to be in constant mirth..
what would be a smile, a tear, a kiss and a hug's worth?

10.31pm 20th February 2010..A.I.L Mohali!!

Law on Arbitration keeps me busy,

I type away the seminar in my own lazy way..

Since morning,through noon,

until evening and night my study blues..

'Abba' playing on the lappy,

gtalk signed in for some break time chatting..

Sniff..sniff ..sniff.. nope me not crying,

Law is a passion and I'm not lying..

A second it takes me to leave my blanket's warmth,

and abandon the lappy I love..

Sniff sniff sniff..I go down the stairs..

I have a frown and a look that is -staring into thin air!

Sniff sniff sniff..nope I'm not love sick

I'm not love lorn..

Its something I and my mum share,

no not our resemblance or our stare..

Sniff sniff sniff..and I trace the haze..

until I find the trace..

Sniff sniff ..and I see it all,

a burnt cake, lots of smoke and sad faces of those who tried so hard.

The frown vanishes and we burst out laughing,

No idea how the shroud of smoke would vanish until the hostel comes out coughing!

I dedicate this poem to the too many lawyers who spoiled the broth

and to the doggy nose that Mum and I got!!

Sometimes, one time..most of the times..at times..

Sometimes I just want you to listen,but there are the same times when you wish to keep mum..Listen one can without saying a word,but hearing and listening would't be same for all..

Sometimes I wish I were with you,but those are the same times you want your time all alone..To be in the place as same as in one's thoughts,

wouldn't be possible for all..

One time you are there with me, in front of my eyes and in the same moment ,in my soul..

The other time you are far away, just like a story untold..

Most of the times you know when I'm happy and know it too that I'm melancholic in my own way..Funny it is that at times its true that you hurt me,but its when I don't want you to know and just for that , I pray..

To feel love and that too your love, there is a need to feel empty..

There is a need to taste some pain, a pinch of hurt... to win back love aplenty..

Winter rain

All huddled up ,fluffy cotton ball like, are some,

daring to challenge the cold breeze, standing against it are few..

Ashen firmament, falling auburn leaves, swaying trees; a spectacular view...

It came unannounced, it came without any prayer..Its 'winter rain'.

Perceived in many a way-surprising, welcoming and dismay..

Some await sunshine,

while others love the weather gods' play,

Its pitter patter unexpected, its painted everything silvery gray...Its 'winter rain'.

Some crouch into warm blankets,

stay indoors lest the cold would catch them in the fray..

While others would treat their taste buds,

with some hot tea, perhaps jalebies too on a tray...

After all, its a surprise visit once in a while by 'winter rain'.

Two ways to look at one thing..

poles apart are the thoughts,

Two different ways of feeling it,

yet it changes not...

How we mortals perceive as we wish,

see the same not as same,

Life and its experiences..at times like dew, sometimes thunderous rain,

Wish everyone could welcome it all, like welcoming 'winter rain'...

The little kid..

Its Christmas today!! The pre-NEW YEAR funtime! And referring to the previous post of mine..well it is the last christmas with college friends..Perhaps we'll meet later in life on some get together ..but the future is uncertain isn't it?

Anyways, I REALLY don't want to tug at the meloncholy strings as of now..

I discovered something today...

We have our last exam of the 9th semester tomorrow morning at 10!! The subject is not tough at all but still going out just when its time to revise and discuss the subject is a bit of a risk and quite a lot of "guilty- me" thoughts!! My friend Megha was dreading that her Dad would call and would be upset if he knew she was out eating before an exam(because he always taught her that no matter how easy the exam be, one must never go out just a day before an exam!)However, we all kept those books aside to celebrate Christmas in our own way.. Put on those jackets and coats..and in the cold winter evening set out for a walk to a coffee shop to enjoy cake on the special day!!

At the coffee shop were the usual Christmas decorations balloons et all.. My friend Deboo and other were tugging at them..and deboo slipped one into her bag too ( who shall wait for Santa to fulfill wishes!!??!!)... Megha attended her father's phone call and sheepishly smiled before admitting that the noise was of her friends who allegedly pulled her here because Christmas was more important than the exam in most respects!!

Coming back to two hours before our walk and coffee and cake... another friend of mine..Neha played a prank on a batchmate who had asked her to keep a watch on the two lone "gol-gappas" in her bowl during tea time..and well Neha the mischievous girl, told deboo that someone had said she did not want to have them so she could!! Deboo took no time to gobble one of them and Neha gobbled the other..In the meanwhile Minna came back..shocked to see the empty bowl!!

Now fast forward..backto coffee shop..after 'sharing and caring' as Deboo would put it..we all Megha,ME, Upi, Astha ,Vidhu,Sakshi, Neha and Deboo..shared our cakes n pastries..and started for college..to get back to our law books...

And when we reached.. Deboo showed off the balloon to everyone with that ecstatic look of a wonderful possession she had!! Shrila took less than a minute to get at it and BOOM!! It burst!!

The look on Deboo's face..that of a offended child whose toy was just snatched away by a mean kid.. And now I recall the mischevios smile on Neha's face when she played a prank on Minna..And I remember the look on Megha's face when she answered her father's call..

Yes, I discovered the kid in all of us all over again...

So SANTA...This year preserve the kid in me and my loved ones because it brings a smile to our faces and happiness in our lives...

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Change is tough..

About 4 and half years back as I joined law school.. the curriculum of 5years scared me! Could not imagine how it would all turn out...could not gauge how much time 10semesters would take! And now I look back and laugh..how time just flew.. Yeah seems as if it passed quickly..but when I glance through pictures..I see the difference..Then I realise that at that time we used to use HI5 for social networking..and then orkut came by..finally facebook took over and is still reigning.. I started blogging..became dormant for a while..active again..n back to snail's pace.. Something that stayed unaffected, unchanged was my circle of friends..

In this 'City Beautiful' we all wandered about..sipped coffees and ambled around as if nothing was holding us back...Today was just another of those days..but as our tenth semester is approaching, we'r all trying to fill ourselves up..up to the brim..with memories to carry.. Ask us..how we get high after coffee with chocolate truffle..ask us how it is to fit in 6 people in those tiny autorickshaws( after giving the auto chap assurance that we're law students and will manage if there is a challan!!) Yeah once, 9 of us also managed travelling in that!!Ask us how yum maggi tastes when the soup concoction is tried with it at 2am!! Ask us about the innumerable window shopping sprees and the actual ones that lasted the whole day!! Ask us how it feels now if we start talking of first year..or the changes from 2005 to the end of this year.. Gosh! Its tough..this change.. This carefree part of life is coming to an end.. Apart from that, not meeting my friends..whom I barge into hundred times a day..is going to be hard to cope up with..

Imagine..I even reconsidered puttin up make-up for the 5th Year Farewell in April (thinkin I would be crying at the end of it..so what's the point!! heheh) Never studied in any school for more than 3 years..not even 3 I guess..So its funny leaving college after 5 years.. We've cursed it many times..cribbed a lot..but I love it..I love my friends and undoubtedly this has been the best time of my life that leaves an indelible impression of what we call friendship, fun, frolic, trust, love and care... Will miss this life all my life..

Lets get back to our daze..

Living through it every moment,

without your voice, your face..the empty space.

Cutting through it every day,

the void, the haze that leaves its trace.

The change is here..its happening,

I thought I could deal with it but it is challenging.

My eyes well up even when I try hiding the tears,

I have no fear yet the emotions sear.

What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to be?

I want to stay in your embrace forever, I don't wanna be free.

So keep me close, keep me within your gaze,

Love me like always..set me free from this puzzling phase..lets get back to our daze...

freaked out!

We all read in the papers..we talk of it often..our dependance on the internet, on mobile phones.. Our incessant wish to check our email even when we are not sure of what so important would be there on our inbox!! I know of 'nomophobia'..the fear of being out of mobile phone contact but I don't know if my freaking out 5mins back was some sort of a phobia! Well..as I signed into gmail..my password would not get accepted! I tried once,twice ,thrice..and I could feel my cheeks turn warm..maybe my eyes popped out..I don't even know what sort of a horrid facial expression I was giving! Then I tried signing into blogger..retyping each letter of my id..each letter of my FOURTEEN LETTER password!! God! How was that possible!! Someone hacked my acocunt..for a few seconds I think I just could not make myself to breathe... But then a tiny flash near d keyboard is what caught my attention! Yes, it was CAPSLOCK!!!

Agreed..I'd been ignoring my blog for ages..but God! this was not the most peaceful way of bringing me to write!!

Finally I'm at peace! No hackers please..

Memories etched forever..

With hope for adventure, with a smile of expectations,

the four of us tread our way, to a trip..though short,but unforgettable..

Bags packed, snacks stacked, we began our journey,

through state borders of Punjab, Himachal and Haryana...

The bus wound its way to the hillocks and hills,

it seemed all the same, untill we felt the slight chill...

Yes, we were drifting away from the rainless dry earth of the plains,

we were at 'Nahan', and as if under heavenly reigns...

The clear skies, patched with cotton white clouds,

The mountains, ever so dense;greenery an essence...

Four friends, four hours,

and there we were at 'dastar asthan'

We took a breath of fresh air,

Enjoyed the drizzle and the panorama of paonta sahib so clear...

Over the bridge, under which the Yamuna flows,

the road that links one end to Uttarakhand and the other to Himachal's rainbow...

From paonta sahib to herbertpur,

from Herbertpur to Vikasnagar ,

we looked around in awe, of the beauty surrounding us...

A warm welcome by a loving family,

no wonder our friend is so lovable, just as her folks...

a walk around the countryside,

sneak peek into the old lanes running side by side...

Then came 15th August, the day freedom is to be felt..

Did we not feel it through and through with a tinge of pride,

Looking at the gen-next..little school girls and boys?

They sang, they danced..

they recited poems from the glorious past,

we realised these were the days one is nurtured from our country's clay to a cast..

Off we were amongst the mountains of Mussourie

Stolen into some fairy world,

Alas..something earthly followed us..

yeah it was the abominable 'traffic jam'..in a swirl!

Nothing stopped our spirits to reach the destined destination..

There we were after walking uphill, 2kms and a half..to feel the slight tingle and chill..

All that was to be seen were the green mountains and the clouds cloaking the valleys,

the market was pretty much Delhi,Nanital, Mumbai..

Taste buds woke up to the good ol' 'Bhutta'

And before we knew we were walking through clouds..!

The sun went down behind the hills,

and our hearts sank as we were home bound..

Back to Vikasnagar was still full of hope,

because the fresh air, we were sure to breathe..

When time came to go back to 'City Beautiful'

all we did was sigh...

We knew we'd miss all those wonderful moments with friends ...all our lives

Valuable assets passed on..

The entire 8th semester wrapped up in a single whooosh.... the graduation party( we'r done with the B.A, out of the B.A,LL.B!!) and the farewell to seniors( which was surrounded by lots of drama and controversy) were enjoyed at the end of the day.. Another very important agenda of the 8th semester was the RESULT of the dreaded 7th Semester.. but in record breaking incident, we'r at the threshhold of giving our exams and the previous result isn't out yet!! So, now that exams got really near and we finally decided to buy books and xerox the necessary material.. I got some notes photostated for the subject called Business Law since it was a mixture of so many statutes that i deferred buying separate books! Obviously, I did not even touch them until the preparatory leave arrived and that when I discovered something..

As I started reading the notes..something related to government securities..bonds et al.. the impressions from the past came alive.. I read a name, my immediate senior's name( ya its her notes most of us have copied)..but at another place was another name..of a senior of a senior( super senior).. so you see how notes are passed as valuable assets!! Then I stepped upon something written on top of the paper..some senior of mine in his/her utter frustration had written the following couplets- "Chameli ek saloni hai...saloni ladki hai yeh Chameli".. !!!!!

I grinned..and moved on and after a few more pages..I read the following

10 roses

Card( via speed post)

a pack of fererro rochers

Bouquet of flowers

"Not bad..not bad..wah ji wah"

And I smiled this time..and moved on with my chapter..

Later i discovered a senior's name wit ha prefix to it "Lietenant" ..It dawned on me that he was no more. Felt ackward. How much he would have loved to have that prefix to his name, the pride of writing one's rank next to one's name cannot be imagined.. but he could never realise that dream.

At that I must have taken a long break from my reading.. Business law was no more on my thoughts.. Just some pages..not original..photocopied over these years, given to juniors again and again said little things.. About someone challenging one's grey cells to some nonsense rhymes, and some one appreciating a lover's effort to woo his girl...and about someone who was stuck up in the law course and was dreaming of holding a rifle!!

Notes are not just to read, pass the exam and throw away.. when you give it to your juniors with your share of scribbles and scraps, you're passing a new phase and beginning some one's beginning..

As i bid adieu to the 8th semester.. I made it a point to do my share of scribbling and smiled..

Finer pleasures of life..

Mornings-neither too cold nor too warm..just pleasant..just a September morning

Afternoons- those lazy afternoons when I'd love to just nap but would ultimately slip into slumber

Hug- A group hug..just mom dad and me

Hand shake- a warm soft paw within my palm..just Jojo

Leisure-sitting, reading a book,among hundreds of Larkspurs,Petunias, Sweet Williams and Dahlias..just so March

Crave-One bar..just one; of chocolate..and just mmmm..

Walk-Night, star studded..fallen leaves, and the clittering crickets..

Talk- For hours together..about anything under the sun and time just passes..

Sip- Coffee..and you let your heart out..just like that

Sit- On a bench,where you can aimlessly observe..just watch the crowd thinning or getting denser

Sleep- in mum's lap, no matter how grown up you may have become..just cherish it

Laugh- That hearty laughter and tears rolling out..just so priceless

Sing- Yes, its nice on the stage..but in the bathroom..just you and your echo..

Pride-When I see dad dorning the Olive Green..

Accomplishment- To cheer someone up..

Tears- just thinking of times bygone..happy times

Care- When someone knows just whats on your mind and in your heart..

Love- transcends into unfathomable depths and sky scraping heights..just so undefinable..

Smile- A resplendent something..that just lights up another smile..

And so many more of these finer pleasures of life..that we just don't notice everyday and these moments stay momentarily and pass...

कभी ..

कभी तोह तुम आओगे , कभी तोह यह शाम अधूरी न लगेगी।
कभी तोह जी भर के बातें करेंगे , कभी तोह बंदिश टूटेगी।

दिन रात का ठिकाना न होगा , इंतज़ार का येही फल्सफ्हा होगा।
गर तुम साथ होगे, इस दुनिया से डर न होगा ।

इस राह पर जो हम चल पड़े , कुछ पल यादों में समेटे ओझल हो चलें ।
आँखें मूँद कर कल को दिल में समां लूँ , आने वाले हर दिन की शुरुवात अभी से सजा लूँ ।

इस छोटी सी ज़िन्दगी के इतने अरमान ,
बस इंतज़ार है की ख़त्म हो चाहत का इम्तिहान।

This thing called 'love'

The day to celebrate love, is here..right here,
Love freely; say it; confess it..have no fear,

The fallen autumn leaves are no more there,
Its spring and the greenery spreads everywhere..

A shady tree, a cuppa coffee,
shopping spree, or sumptuous meals..

Every little thing about love, simple and sweet..
price charming and eternal goddess, is how they treat..

Long walks, arm in arm,
'blush'- as he looks into her eyes,
a' rush'- as their heart beats rise..

Its so magical, this thing called 'love',
Its easy and yet so tough...

Sweet poison some call it,
'elixir' of life, people agree..

What could be better, than knowing you're in love?
What could be worse, than staying so far apart?

What could be lovelier than knowing you're cared about?
What could be worse, than waiting to show it, and still...have days to count..

Bidding Goodbye to my four-legged friend...

Today, I think was the saddest day of my life..untill today my saddest day was when I had not passed my half yearly examination in Standard XI, somewhere around October 2003.. But, even on that day when my parents were shocked, sad and surprised at the way my grades had fallen; I had someone to hug and cry,someone who was neither shocked nor surprised and that 'person' who is no more there with me today..

"Jojo" ..I love you.. How you came into my life, I've already expressed in poetry, and it forms part of this blog. You completed 10years and 10months of a loving relationship with each and every person of my family..not just them, people who had never seen you in person but just in videos and pictures are concerned about you.. it only goes to show the extent of your loyalty and love for us..

The last two months had been difficult for you and worrying for us..I could never imagine not taking you for a night stroll or not seeing you licking off the tit bits of cake and 'payesh'..but there was hope until yesterday when I saw you in pain, in everything you did..and that's when I prayed to God to either let you recover or let go of you..he chose the latter and so did you..

So, baby you were waiting for me na? I came home and that's when you decided to bid goodbye to all of us..Last evening when you finished off three bowls of water and wagged your tail when I touched you, you can't imagine how happy I was.. You ensured that on your last day, you make my day.

I think practically, and feel that you left us at the right moment, before you could suffer even more..but emotionally, there is a void. The house looks empty and every nook and corner reminds me of you..

Not a day passed since 1998 when I did not take your name at home..and today, I just can't refer you and your naughty times in past tense. I was about to open a chocolate wrapper coz I jus felt like eating one..but my hands trembled. I remembered you, the way your eyes turned towards me and your ears stood upright on hearing the wrapper twist and open up noisily..and then you would want a bite from whatever I was having!! Thankgod I bought a camera phone this year, or else I would not have had those wonderful videos of you relishing mutton and gajar ka halwa and you chasing the monkeys from the garden.. Now there is nobody to guard Mamma's kitchen garden from the lagurs and monkeys and shoo off mongoose famililies.. There will be no 'beware of dog' board on the gate anymore..Its a drastic change Jojo. Baba, had allowed me to bring you home at the age of 1 month on so many pre-conditions, and when you loved him unconditionally, he forgot all of those.. He cannot cry like me and mamma, so he becomes quiet. You know how much he loves you. Mamma will feel sad everyday when she returns from school after a tiring day and does not see you on your little bed. I hope god gives us the strength and courage to fight this loneliness..

I can keep on writing about you..there is so much that I wish to tell..

I so wish god had given a longer life span to dogs, because I feel they deserve it truly.

We'll miss you, all our lives..May your soul rest in peace. Love you Jojo baby..Take Care, wherever you are...

Compensatory sleep!!

Staying in the 'singlet'- a single room( considered very special in hostel) as you are living independently, without a room mate is something I recently experienced. Well, with or without a 'roomie', I've got used to being surrounded by friends most of the time. With the chit-chat extending to eternity, time just flies and what's more..we don't feel sleep deprived!! Even the beginning of a 'healthy routine' with a morning run did not stop us from catching up on a 30 minute snooze before bath-breakfast and big tiring day!

What happens to me and most of us, the moment we come back home? Its as if I've not slept for ages and I hit the bed once and get up after a century!! Puffed up -reddened eyes, dreams and sequel to those dreams running on my mind as I'm in dreamland and at the end of the day I realise I'm not doin much other than sleeping, eating and shopping; oh yeah endlessly surfing the net too!! So, the question is what happens to our body clock when we get to 'home sweet home'? All's well, but I get petrified thinking that excess sleep makes you grow plump, because your body fat keeps accumulating in the real world while you're holidaying at dreamland!! Babies grow in their sleep, I've heard and so do we!!!

I've promised myself to go for an evening run with my dad today. I think I'll accomplish it i.e. if I wake up by 5pm instead of 7pm after lunch!!

"God! wish me luck! I wanna finish off with my compensatory sleep"

KOSI CALAMITY

The river banks which once would have been, for lovers-a safe haven
The river which would have been a business blossom for the fishermen,

The plunges into the river bed, the little naked boys enjoyed probably,
The gushing of the water as the oars scrape through, rowing the boats lightly.

But often the water wished differently,
It did not remain a safe haven and it ruined the fishermen..

The little boys pined to rejoice in the water with giant leaps,
But their mothers clutched them close and all they did was weep..

The river of sorrow, the story of pain,
millions marooned, many maimed..

Just an embankment could have stopped from hell breaking loose,
You will shudder and you will wail, if you're in the victim's shoes..

Destruction done is done,tears rolling over cheeks , dropped in the flood.
Its time to lend a helping hand, its time to stop talking and start doing...

emotional upheaval..

Silence isn't golden anymore,
old wounds once again are sore.
Tears are too less for the sea of grief within,
just wish my feeble heart reaches ashore..

What wrong did I do,
that I pay such a heavy price?
A heavy heart, a heavy soul,
times aren't all sugar and spice..

Hoping that prayers work,
hope that trust does not shirk love..
hope friendship stays alive,
hope this storm,this hurricane,this fatal blow
I survive...