To our bundle of joy- Rihan

Two lines on a stick,

made my heart skip a beat,

Is this true, is this real?

I'm gonna be a mom? A thought so surreal

I tiptoed to your Dad,

We hugged at the best news we ever had!

I wondered how tiny you must be,

Pondered on how the coming months would be...

On the screen we saw the little you,
Heard the best heartbeat ever, true!

Days became weeks and weeks became months,
You grew everyday and so did my baby bump,

At first it felt like a fluttering butterfly,
Then came the kicks and jabs, Oh my!

From just the tiny speck on the screen,
To a see your cute fingers and toes, that little nose was like a dream!

From morning sickness to Midnight cravings
Your Daddy dearest was at my service

You coming to us meant my rounder belly,
A reason to shop for new clothes and make merry

I thought I was at the happiest ever
In my life,
Until I saw your bonny face, oh I have a little boy! Surprise!

No amount of words can express how much I love you my little one,
Days are turning to months and soon the years will follow on

Your beautiful smile warms up my heart,
Your laughter is the sound with which I could never part

 I look back on how I thought my mom was crazy for me,
Believe me Rihan, It's the same with me for thee

Your Daddy and I wish you a world of happiness,
We will be a team ; buddy, let's bring on the craziness!

Love you to the moon and back,
It's just an expression,
Coz I really can't fathom how much more than that!

Music : The time machine

A usual day at work, then at home ..lazy evening ,with instant noodles and some TV.. Bored.. switch to some music!

Unlike my guy who would be lazy all the time but not when it comes to explore new music..he would search out street sounds and new kids on the block..He ain't around so I play on..the most played..listen to a couple of songs which have stuck on to my soul since eternity...

The playlist moves from Carpenters to Eagles..to Nirvana.. and then a song by The Scorpions plays -Still Loving You...and I'm no more in my room..no more in this home we set up

together. . I rush back 11 years ...to a moment when he gifted me something.. an audio cassette -The Scorpions Gold. It was the first gift he gave me.. no occasion. .just a meeting as well as a parting gift..for we met for a record three hours not knowing when the next few hours will be. Until then, listen to songs he loved and perhaps thought I would too. As he gifted me the casette which belonged to him, I said I was touched he shared his favorite music with me (parting with an audio casette was still a big thing then).
And there he was at his best...replying with a wink.."Oh no, I plan to buy a CD of the same album,hence passing the casette on to you!" We laughed.. fell a little more in love..

The song ended.. I'm back to my room in 2016..smiling..then writing this post..

OK or De(Kay)

One big wide grin and you term it  "batteesie" in Hindi, meaning a set of 32teeth! Well not everyone possesses all 32 and those who do,probably won't have them captured in one kodak moment smile!

18th year ushered in new stuff..the usual..'I'm an adult now' situations. What it also brought with that was wisdom.. Loads of it!! Yeah, 4 vestigial not so important and painful wisdom teeth!!

10years have passed and I lived with the full pack of 32. Numerous cheek bites as the top ones dug while I slept..turned worse then healed.. The lower two 'impacted' as per the Docs ... Not in agreement with the other teeth in the jawline.. My Mom saw these two and exclaimed.."looks like two disobedient kids decided not to stand in queue!!!

So much tongue in cheek about the peek a boo wisdom you must think..

Well, I just got one of my four pearls (sic) of wisdom dropped/extracted.

Excruciatingly painful,decayed tooth,unfathomable to the best of toothbrushes..had no option but to bid it goodbye..

So here I was fearing the unknown and it took under 15minutes for half of my face to go numb and my tooth to get uprooted like an old dead tree hit by lightening!

I don't think I can forget the sound of 'uprooting' which has got into my head! 

The procedure happened and I saw the severed tooth..decayed and dead at the top, strong and unscathed at the root... Like a freak got it home but the doc told me not to preserve it as it was decayed..so flushed it off..

Had a sense of loss.. A vestigial organ as it may be..still was a part of me and my 'bateesie'... 

For - Rohit Mathews

I never met you, can't say we were friends,

Yet, I saw you, in her eyes and his laughter,

'You' I could sense..

I do sing, I never heard you sing,

Yet, I saw the singer on their mind,in her  eyes and his dimpled smile

when I sang...

I never met you, can't say we were friends,

While our mothers shopped for the both of us

 A day of shopaholics',we shared...

I never met you, can't say we were friends,

Yet I feel the pain of loss, of you my friend..

For I yearn to see her bright eyes twinkle,

I yearn to hear his laughter and jokes,

I want them to be my beloved aunty and uncle,

but for the loss of you, my friend , I'm at a loss of words...

Just another day...

The day to shed inhibitions,
The day of proposal decisions,
The day of flowers all pink and red,
The day of love, someone said..

The day which ends with dinners ,candlelight
The day when coffee shops are bustling quite
The day when soft toys cheese you away,
The day when hearts and souls are blown the balloon way!

That day happens to be just another day,
coz you're not here and I'm not there,
and everyday with you all throughout the year is Valentine's Day!

The TOILette Etiquette!

Heard a lot..of people reading their daily dose of news on the commode..Also, heard of Eureka & Archimedes in the bath tub. Heard the usual shy amateur singers let out a sigh and say..I'm just a 'bathroom singer'. So much of our lives revolve around the loo, isn't all of it true?

Well, here is a post, some will find weird to the core, but guys you shall agree I'm sure..That a bad day in the washroom does change the course of the day. Empty bowels so give us a kick start to juggle from the thunder box to the board rooms!!

Well, by now the reader is thinking, why the etiquette in a place of complete solace? What on earth would a person do alone practicing any sort of etiquette?? So here it goes...

Just the other day, a lazy sunday afternoon...and my self pamper at its hilt, with a bath that lasts longer than the weekdays', I began singing... the song "तुम ही हो " by the popular singer Arijit Singh from the bollywood movie Aashiqui2http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x15d701_aashiqui-2-tum-hi-ho-video-song-2013-hd_music

If I may boast, I am a decently good singer and I sing with my heart and soul in the loo. The echo enchants me and adds an aura to the voice, that I feel a microphone seldom provides...

So, I sang the song the best that I could, and just as I was about to move to the next stanza, I was stunned as I realised the solo had transcended the boundaries of the bathrooms,windows,ventilators and even the floors to become a duet!!!!! Stunned was I at the audacity to complete my song..YES! A stranger had intruded my singing space with bad toilet etiquette ! 

Though I'd be honest, the stranger too is a good singer; but this one incident has quite taken away my favorite singing space away from me... :(

Kitty Kidnap

Life today is so busy and we often discuss that none know thy neighbours thesedays.

But, I say hello to my neighbour pretty often. He stays with his mom at the ground floor of my building and plays near the dumped garbage. His daddy is mostly away and pays occassional visits. This mama's boy is a handsome yet demure, affable little (I dare call him little) CAT who loves to poise on the cars and bikes in the garage!

I have been an animal lover since childhood, but selective in being so! Somewhat like the views of some on being an animal lover yet a voracious non vegetarian as being a hypocritical!

So, if you are an animal lover but are afraid of snakes and cats; well that's what I was and rather am still to a great extent barring cats. After my friend~dog~Jojo's death after a happy life of 11 years , nothing could replace him, but some not exactly pets have filled the void in these 5 years since his demise.

The cats in my life Kalli and Goldie have brought a new side to me.

My husband and mother in law (hereinafter referred as MIL)have played an important part in getting me closer to these creatures whom I always feared. This post is about Goldie but since Kalli was my first backyard cat at Siliguri, a special mention for her.

Kalli- green startled eyes; not just eyes but "cat eyes"; black shiny coat. She was a perfect selection for a horror film! Every afternoon, post lunch she would wait for the fish bones and cheese slices when we were observing a no non veg day. Wait would be accompanied by constant meowing in chorus with two other pals.

Her meoooooww would rise higher and higher in pitch as the moment of the 'touch down' of the fish be closer and there you go! lo and behold! As soon as the fish would be on the ground, she would flash her sharp white feline set of teeth!

This diabolical turn of events never deterred my mom, dad and me from loving Kalli. It became just a part of the general procedure of the lunch hour! When we left the house at Siliguri, it was painful to leave Kalli behind. But, there is this annoyance in the mind of a dog lover , that why won't the cat miss him as much as he does...

Goldie- is over a year old. His description is evident from his name - golden coat and yes ,even patches of white. He boasts with the title of the thickest tailed cat in the vicinity and also that I have ever seen in my life. His personality as I wrote earlier is quite diametrically opposite to the usual feline fraternity. He is the kinds who would respond to your love. Who would wait for the fish and spare you  the flash of feline set of teeth. He is the kinds who would not spend hours together on his narcissism and self grooming and rather just sun bathe!

So, Goldie vanishes for a week and we(my MIL& myself)  were worried that he was involved in some sort of cat-gang-war with his daddy on the other side. We thanked our stars that we finally had a sighting! He was more amiable than ever. It was as if he was a dog like cat minus the tail wagging! He acknowledged every stroke and every caress. To our surprise , our neighbourhood cat first meowed too!! We had our rendezvous and walked towards the elevator. To our utter surprise, Goldie followed us. He also seemed eager to see the world beyond the ground floor garage-e-garbage. 

So, my MIL who has a knack for picking up cats without threatening them or bothering them, did just that and we hopped into the elevator with Goldie in arm. 

When the lift moved up ,he felt uneasy, his claws stuck out in anxiety, but he did not attack either of us. The lift happened to stop at the 4th floor beforehand and Goldie escaped! 

He meowed so loud that the corridor echoed with this outcry of our lost kitty. He was up at this floor for the first time, but it did not seem so, the way he smartly took the stairs. His meowing was sad but his steady walk, jauntily down the flight of stairs belied his outcry!

We followed him till his reunion with dear mommy. However, he turned back disheartened and dejected, yet not indignant for what we had done. We thought we had lost Goldie's trust and friendship, something that was a rare phenomenon between cats and humans.

BUT, ten minutes of tete-a-tete with his mom and a bowl of milk with two large tablespoons of apology from MIL & me has brought our almost kidnapped kitty back!

:)

Baba.

First of my memory traces..
wrapped in warm embraces,
because you had come back to me my Baba
because war ceased..my little kid's heart was pleased Baba

I grew up, you toughened me,
I grew up you  shielded me,
I grew up,you scolded me
I grew up,you moulded me
you loved me..it grew...

Scaling tiny summits with you,
would be my everest
running to keep pace with you,
were my days best.

The soul in your letters,
nestled in my heart..
Miles away from me and mom
yet not apart...

You gave me away in wedding I know..
in style that too
but I know one thing for sure..
I may be grey haired and wrinkled but shall remain a daddy's girl true!


I love you Baba

City of joy 1419-1420

I cannot believe that my last blog post was a year back...

Landed at the city of joy in April 2012...and a year just passed in a jiffy!

 I wanted to blog..wanted to write..wanted to share..but time was scarce...

SO! April 2012-2013 summed up!

1st April..fools day? No I am serious,I'm arriving today!

2nd April,a day at work..a new office..no old folks!

Bengali New Year..ushering year 1419,

New beginnings..new friendships..new turn to relationships

Come'May'and 'may be' wasn't an option..

Off I Went to Darjeeling..almost the last holiday as a maiden

June July...left me and the city minus the joy

The summer heat and work life balance playing its own ploy..

Come August...and discoveries galore

twists and turns unfurl..

There is big fat wedding and more...

'S' stands for September 

so it does for shopping..

winding through shops and going mall hopping

Oh OH OCTOBER Durga Puja is here

Good over bad is what you hear..

the colour of festive spirit painting me in all hues

time for spreading love..trying for truce

November 2012! the biggie!

I finally tie the knot...my boyfriend turns hubby!
long distances cut short!

Kingdom of Bhutan welcomes us newly weds
no matter now much beauty I describe..something shall remain unsaid

December is the time of the winter baby in me..

time for birthday and Christmas!

Though the fun dampend a bit for a sickness

Care and love nurtured me to move to the new year fresh!

Jan Feb March just slipped away

troughs and crests...

April is here yet again..1420 begins..

I pray for well being of all I love

and let there not be a day at all dim..

The long and short of it.... love and distances

To say goodbye until we meet again without tears,
is such a  gift, which until many a year was spared..

To begin the countdown as you leave and finish at day five or six,
seems like all these years, love life was in such a fix..

To have conversations which go beyond talk time,
to laugh together and forget the entire week's grind..

To the sense of belonging to each other,
to believe in the years of being together..

So much for absence makes the heart grow fonder,
just that if the absence is just Mondays to Saturdays...I don't have too much to wonder or ponder...

Choose to pray and not prey...

Fight with might, be a man,
face to face, with a warrior's elan,
Why do you hide, behind your sleazy shroud of a reason?
Why do slaughter men,women and children every season..?

Fight with might, be a man,
face to face, with a warrior's elan,
One moment.. deafening blast, and the day is a bloody day,
people die,lose some limbs and its a black-wednesday,thursday..friday..

Fight with might, be a man,
face to face,with a warrior's elan,
How many set of numbers would you make infamous now?
9/11,7/11..oh I've lost count already,somehow!

Fight with might,be a man,
face to face,with a warrior's elan,
Fear if you may wish to see,
see it within yourself, its in your actions,its naked,its bare in thee!

Fight with might,be a man,
face to face,with a warrior's elan,
Choose to pray and not prey,
You shall lose yourself, in this fray..

fighting writer's block..to keep the hobby intact!

A question does every child loathe ;when time after time, it comes forth..
"Dear child..what hobbies do you have, yet untold?"

Some just pick up their natural choice,
few others attend classes once a week,twice or thrice..

With a beeming smile will the mother foretell,
how her little one will be a Sania,a Sachin and MF Hussain,

From books and bags to paint brush and raquets,
from homework to tuition to boxing and karate,

The child moves on from school life,
the question alas stays right behind..

"Dear Fatcha(first year)..what hobbies do you have, yet untold?"
They make you sing,dance,mimic,act..
Hobbies or no hobbies..not a matter in fact!

And from college to workplace, the question follows,
in interviews, in forms..the HR hallows..
"Dear employee,what hobbies do you have,yet untold?"

You lived with them, you die with them..
a conversation starter, a symbol of an almamater,
a life's lesson, a moment's fashion..

None can leave the other,
weaved into the person, mingled with the soul..
for me its singing,poetry,swimming what's your hobby,yet untold?

why on earth...?

If only I could help not saying what I said, if only I could help not feeling what I did,
If only I could hold my words back and weigh my thoughts,
Why on earth would you have been made for me at all?

If I could change my ways, if I would not be reckless or a moment of craze,
if only I could understand how to react appropriate, or give you perfect space,
Why on earth would you have been made for me at all?

If I could walk without tripping at all,
If I could sing without the slightest disc(h)ord (sic)
If I could stay chirpy all the while,
Why on earth would you have been made for me at all?


You're there to listen to my unweighed thoughts before they turn to words,
You're there to weigh my spoken words,

You're there to be next to me,standing tall,
You're there to hold me close when I trip or fall

You're the one to hear me out in not so cheerful times, to bear with my tantrums and the moods galore in life's mundane rhymes..

You're the one chosen for me to complement me in every right,
its a mix and match you know, the heavens conspired..

Had we been so alike, so as to agree upon everything under the sun,
life together wouldn't be half as fun, as it is to fight and make up in turn...

This too passed...

I was teary eyed in fear,
that all that I had was perfect here,
perfection of the days,minutes and seconds
moments, expressions and conversations sheer..

Days that were as if living a dream, minutes which passed like hours,
seconds measured in beats of the heart..
expressions captured in the mind, conversations woven close together as if in a rhyme..

Like a tale of another world where love remained the same,
just in a marvelous state, where there were no frowns,fights and spates,
And I kept asking myself as to why and how its so perfect,
and you would touch wood or cross fingers all the way..

Alas! the perfect moments gave away,
the dream, I woke up from,
The minutes, were back to sixty seconds,
conversations meant a phone call again...

And like every good thing that comes to an end,
this too passed..

On your 63(rd)...Motherland

Its your sixty three(sic), since the day we were free,
free of being ruled by another,
free of being a martyr in someone else's war,
free to call this land ours, you-ours..

Its your sixty three, since the day we were free,
free to call us one nation,
free to have an anthem to stand up to,
free to have a leader look up to...

But it pains me today, on your sixty three,
to see the the strong bonds of one nation weaken,
to see the belief of oneness shaken,
to see men,women and children of yours being killed by your own..

It pains me to see on your sixty three,
the leaders are no more worth looking up to,
the national anthem I just stand to at a cinema theatre and enjoy the rest that follows..

It pains me that on your sixty three,
children are taught in schools that vanish into thin air,
where their mid-day meals are eaten by vanishing devils,
and their clothes are sold to men of no conscience

It pains me that on your sixty three,
its tough finding an honest man in the higher rungs,
a contented farmer in the villages far flung,
a happy student in an educational set up just fit to learn,
a person who would feel without bribing one or another, work will be done.

It pains me that on your sixty three,
there are people still in the shackles of cast and creed
who kill their own blood in name of honour,
murder their own child,a loving son and a daughter.

You may call me a pessimist my motherland,
that on your sixty three,
I talk curt and talk of all negativity..
But, I cannot close my eyes to the glaring truth that stands so strong,
send an 'sms' saying happy independence day and forget about it all

You may call me a humbug,
one unable to share the joy of our people on your sixty three,
but freedom for me is when each one of your children is thankful to thee,
when each of them have no complaints and no revenges to take,from thee.

That would be truly the Independence Day for me.

And they were such kids..falling for it

And they were such kids, falling for it,
falling in the sweet trap of the sweeter trip,
They not at all could, wipe off the silly smiles,
they had no idea what was wrong with their heart,their face and their sleepless nights..

And they were acting so grown up..yet so juvenile,
saying it, believing it... 'in love' , in a while
Not knowing what lay ahead, not bothering to be scared,
fearless and carefree, they tread their pathways..

And they thought they knew it all,
little did they wonder what happens after the big fall..
tiffs that turn into fights,
and the missed and hung up calls..

And they learnt with every step and hurdle,
what a pool of love it was with the small and big puddles..
they learnt from their mistakes and learnt from every tear that rolled,
the fear of being alone without the other, the love of not letting go..

And they thought, what people said mattered,
and sat down for love introspection,
Little did they know it was their belief that mattered,
nobody's justification..

Weeks and Months and Years went by,
their love was tested by time..
And all they did was look back and smile..
at the kids, the juveniles and the memorabilia for life..

Do girls agree to this? and Do guys secretly admit to feeling the same??

So what's new on your mind girl?
So what's happening all around you?
Tell me about it all..as your drink you sip..
Its time for GOSSIP!

'So and So' is up to this,
'so and so' is friendless,
That couple broke up and 'he' cheated on her..
Aww how life just flips!
Its time for GOSSIP!

My observation is true..the faces just glow,
with every piece of it, and its every drip..
Yup! its GOSSIP!!

You're unrelated, your life is not concerned with the news..
yet wonder why on hearing of something unheard..your tummy growls and u drool!!
Of course..its a GOSSIP ,not knowing it as if makes you a fool!!

Tel-a-woman is the mode, Gossip is the matter,
Information of who is the prude and who just turned fatter..
the constant entertainer, the feeling of know-it-all,
None other that GOSSIP afterall!! :P

The mortal soul be-fooled..

Our own mortal soul, be-fooled..
by our own thoughts and aspirations, shrouded in gloom..
Perfection so unattainable with the battle
of whether the mind or the heart is to rule..

A quiet soul often presumed to be taciturn,-
an amiable one being loquacious..
No matter how good you may be or pretend to be so,
what unfurls is all-the good, bad, ugly and worse

With the gift of the gab comes the loud mouth,
with pride comes the ego,
With patience comes laziness,
None of the vices the virtue can forego..

Acceptance of this human life's playful pert,
is what we can do first,
If life were to be in constant mirth..
what would be a smile, a tear, a kiss and a hug's worth?

10.31pm 20th February 2010..A.I.L Mohali!!

Law on Arbitration keeps me busy,

I type away the seminar in my own lazy way..

Since morning,through noon,

until evening and night my study blues..

'Abba' playing on the lappy,

gtalk signed in for some break time chatting..

Sniff..sniff ..sniff.. nope me not crying,

Law is a passion and I'm not lying..

A second it takes me to leave my blanket's warmth,

and abandon the lappy I love..

Sniff sniff sniff..I go down the stairs..

I have a frown and a look that is -staring into thin air!

Sniff sniff sniff..nope I'm not love sick

I'm not love lorn..

Its something I and my mum share,

no not our resemblance or our stare..

Sniff sniff sniff..and I trace the haze..

until I find the trace..

Sniff sniff ..and I see it all,

a burnt cake, lots of smoke and sad faces of those who tried so hard.

The frown vanishes and we burst out laughing,

No idea how the shroud of smoke would vanish until the hostel comes out coughing!

I dedicate this poem to the too many lawyers who spoiled the broth

and to the doggy nose that Mum and I got!!

Sometimes, one time..most of the times..at times..

Sometimes I just want you to listen,but there are the same times when you wish to keep mum..Listen one can without saying a word,but hearing and listening would't be same for all..

Sometimes I wish I were with you,but those are the same times you want your time all alone..To be in the place as same as in one's thoughts,

wouldn't be possible for all..

One time you are there with me, in front of my eyes and in the same moment ,in my soul..

The other time you are far away, just like a story untold..

Most of the times you know when I'm happy and know it too that I'm melancholic in my own way..Funny it is that at times its true that you hurt me,but its when I don't want you to know and just for that , I pray..

To feel love and that too your love, there is a need to feel empty..

There is a need to taste some pain, a pinch of hurt... to win back love aplenty..